I am: The one on the left. (on the right is a giant Galapagos tortoise) Photo Ira Nowinski

I just got this new camera. It's very advanced - you don't even need it. (Steven Wright)

Photos that turn me on have: Strong composition, originality, SOUL.
Turn offs: Digital or analog gimmicks like over processing (saturation, contrast, sharpening), lensbabies, TTL, vignetting, etc. Poor technique: focusing errors, blown out highlights etc. P.S. There are exceptions :) Lots!