Dear Me: Day 27
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I suppose this is partly a continuation of yesterday's message, and it's something else I'm still working on. I think I would say that I don't necessarily "regret" anything in my past, I made my decisions based on my experiences. Regretting those choices is a waste of time and energy.
Would I go back and change specific instances given the chance? Of course. Let's be honest, if I could go back, I'd probably cut off his hands before he had a chance to lay them anywhere near me. That alone would have changed everything that happened for the next 20 years.
But here's the thing, as I've alluded to before... if he had never touched me... who would I be now? There is a part of me... perhaps my inner 7 year old... who thinks that maybe things would have been better, that maybe I would have been better, happier, calmer, more satisfied with my life. But on the other hand, would I be as strong, as passionate, as empathetic, as driven?
And so I continue working on letting go. On putting my past... and my regrets behind me. I will be grateful for the person i'm becoming, for the passion in my heart, for the strength in my soul. And I will recognize and appreciate that perhaps I have these blessings, because of all I've survived... and I will learn not to regret the path that brought me here.
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