Dear Me: Day 89

Uploaded 17 Mar 2011
Spotlight This! Enter Shoot Out
Login Required

To add items to your favorites you must login.

Already have a JPG account?


Need to create a JPG account?

JPG+ Required

Collections are a JPG+ feature. You must be a JPG+ member to create new collections and to add photos to collections.

Sign up for JPG+ to start using collections now!

© Sarah Philipson
Views 10
Likes 0
Favorites 0
Comments 0
Would you like to also give a props comment to the photographer?
All dislikes require a comment. Please tell us why you do not like this photo.

More of Sarah Philipson’s Photos

  • Dear Me: Day 90
  • Dear Me: Day 89
  • Dear Me: Day 88
  • Dear Me: Day 87
Photo Info
UploadedMarch 18, 2011
TakenMarch 18, 2011
Exposure2 sec at f/11
FlashNo Flash
Focal Length27 mm
No categories yet.

Similar photos

  • Looking Down at Me
  • Sharing Spirits Christmas day!
  • Little shadow

Enter "Tattoos"!

Q: Good tripods??

A: Do you know?

Photo license: © All rights reserved

Day 89/365

Tonight I realized something important. Vital. I realized that the reason I can't move past my body issues, the reason I can't seem to ever fully conquer my social anxiety, the reason I can't ever seem to convince myself that I deserve to be LOVED... is because I still live in fear of him.

I spent years of my life padding myself with food and fat, making myself invisible, making myself undesirable. And I did that, deep down, because I wanted to make myself undesirable to HIM.

But it's more than that. When i started thinking about it, really thinking about it I realized it roots to my anxiety too. By all accounts before he did what he did, I was vivacious, gregarious, outgoing. I was constantly seeking out new people to befriend, handing out hugs and hellos without a care in the world.

But for as long as *I* can remember... I've been painfully shy, horrifyingly anxious of new people, new experiences. Which makes sense when you take into account that I don't really remember much at all before him.

And the more I thought about it, the clearer it became. If I really want to finish what I've started, if I really want to learn to love myself, if I really want to make the important, healthy choices that will turn my life around completely-- I have to stop being afraid. I have to stop being afraid of HIM.

And I have to let him go.

I need to forgive him. Because unless I do, he will always be the one with the power over me... over my life.

Forgiving him doesn't change what he did. It doesn't excuse it. What it does is set ME free. It breaks the bond that holds me to him, that holds me to my fear and my pain.

It means that my body will once again belong to ME and not to my memories.

I don't expect to feel this overwhelming shift overnight. But if I have to say it 100 times a day I will.

I forgive him.

If I have to say it every day for 100 days I will.

I forgive him.

I forgive him, so that I can finally be free.

No responses

To add your comment, Log in or sign up!

Please Login or Sign Up

You must be logged in to enter photos into JPG Shoot Out contests.
Login or Sign Up