Dear Me: Day 163
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You know, the thing that's kind of sad about all this, is that I've always seen so much beauty in the world around me. I'm the girl that photographs the kelly green chain link of a swingset at the lake. I'm the girl that brings a dandelion bloom inside and photographs it in my desktop studio with lilac cardstock in the background. I'm the girl that sees beautiful things to photograph everywhere I go.
But it took me a long time to see that there was beauty on MY side of the camera too. I used to tell my friends and family I wouldn't be in photos. I sink away from other people's cameras, I forced promises from friends that they won't photograph me without asking. I told my best friend not long ago that if I got to a point where I lost 50 lbs... she would be allowed. But then I lost 40... and I still didn't feel comfortable with it.
I don't know if I'll ever feel completely comfortable being IN photos, instead of taking them. But I'm trying now at least. I did some self-portraits in my new purple dress shortly after purchasing it. And I don't hate them, which is kind of amazing. So I made a resolution, I'm going to stop running from having my picture taken. I'm not going to flat out volunteer-- but if I'm with friends and they want a photo to be taken... I won't refuse anymore.
It's time to move past this limit for me. And maybe if I can open myself up to having my own picture taken... it will add some additional perspective to the photos I take. It can't hurt.
It's time to recognize that beauty is not just AROUND me... but is also WITHIN me.
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