Personal Post

My Best Friend

mr & mrs dace
102/365 GIVE HER BACK!
101/365 WHY
Goodbye My Friend

I don't know...nothing I can say could ever do justice to her memory...I don't have enough words. I'm still stunned and crying lots over the loss of my bestfriend, Annika. I miss her more than mere words typed here on this screen can ever describe. I cannot imagine the loss and sadness her husband and parents & other family are feeling. I leave tomorrow morning to drive to Illinois for the viewing & funeral. Am I ready for this? No. But who is ever ready to say a final goodbye so young to their bestfriend? Let me answer that for you. No one. I know she is in a better place, and is not hurting, or worrying about her health. But I mourn for me, for her husband, for her family, for her other friends. We're left here without here. Without her contagious laugh & smile. It still seems unreal. It sort of feels like a nightmare. Like I'm going to wake up & I'll still be able to call her. I'm having tons of trouble sleeping, eating, functioning. Period.

I just cannot put words around how much I miss her. How horrible I feel. I keep staring at photos of her. Photos of me & her. Photos of me & her & our mutual friends. Running memories through my mind like a tape reel, non stop. Songs come on the radio that remind me of her, watched a movie last night & had no idea that it would remotely remind me of her. But in the end it did. And I sobbed until I fell asleep.

She was such a positive, bright spot in this world of anger, sadness, & pain. She was always happy no matter what. She always knew what to say & how to say it. She was always the caring, loving, accepting one. No matter what anyone thought. She stood up for what was right no matter what. She was so smart. So beautiful. So funny. So random. So creative. So lovely. She loved God more than anything. She loved talking about Him to others. She was never afraid. She always prayed. She could frequently be caught reading her Bible at random times. She would throw out Bible verses randomly in conversation.

She was always cracking jokes, and singing, and skipping, and just letting that child at heart out at any chance given. She loved the sunshine. She loved purple. She loved leopard print. She loved the 80s, and all the things that came along with that, Madonna's music, Fresh Prince of Bell-Air, Saved By The Bell, Leg warmers, bright colors, non matching things. She loved her family. She frequently talked about her mom & dad & how much she loved them. She loved animals. She loved her friends unconditionally. No matter what you ever said or did, she'd always love you. You never had to question that. It was just known. She made it easy to trust.

I will never forget her, and the change she brought to my life & how she saved my life more than once. All that she ever did & said for me. How much I loved her. I will always love her. She will always hold a very special place in my heart. May she rest in peace.

I know she is in Heaven having a blast. I just wish she didn't have to go so soon.

You are missed & loved more than you'll ever know Annika Stephanie Dace (9/4/82-4/12/09)

13 responses

  • Regenia Brabham

    Regenia Brabham (Deleted) gave props (14 Apr 2009):

    A beautiful tribute Lindsay! I'm sending prayers to comfort you and her family.

  • Sonia Adam Murray

    Sonia Adam Murray gave props (14 Apr 2009):

    A very touching tribute, that she, her family and friends will all appreciate, congratulations. My prayers are with you, her family and friends.

  • Nicole DeVita

    Nicole DeVita gave props (16 Apr 2009):

    A wonderful tribute to a wonderful friend. My prayers are with you, her faily and friends.

  • david ong

    david ong gave props (17 Apr 2009):

    so sorry.... : (

  • peggy gardner

    peggy gardner gave props (17 Apr 2009):

    you were both lucky to have each other and she will be keeping your seat warm in heaven.

  • Lynn H

    Lynn H (Deleted) gave props (17 Apr 2009):

    As one who lost her best friend at an early age, I totally understand all the emotions you are having to bear. I am so sorry. My prayers are with you and her family.

  • Maura Wolfson-Foster

    Maura Wolfson-Foster gave props (17 Apr 2009):

    No words; just know energy never dies. What a wonderful love you share.......

  • Maria Cox

    Maria Cox gave props (18 Apr 2009):

    Lindsay, this is a beautiful tribute, and such a wonderful description of your friend. My prayers are with you all.

  • stephanie hopson

    stephanie hopson said (20 Apr 2009):

    Dear Lindsay,
    my name is Stephanie Ann Bellinger Hopson, Annika was named after me, am her aunt. My sister Jackie told me about u and the beautiful words you wrote about Annika, and i just wanted to thank you for loving her as much as we did. Yes, we all are having trouble sleeping, thinking straight, laughing, u name it it's hard. But i must say , too see such wonderful things said about my niece tells what a great person she was, and also it tells me what a great person u are to honor your friend . I hope u take care of your
    self and please stay sweet, love much Aunt Stephanie

  • Julie Norris

    Julie Norris gave props (21 Apr 2009):

    This is a beautiful tribute to your dear friend.

  • Rhio9 (Rhio9)

    Rhio9 (Rhio9) (Deleted) said (12 May 2009):

    on april 12 '09 i was just gettijng out of the hospital fighting a life-and-death battle of my own. the same day, your friend dies. who can say what it means, old soul. i just wrote a little story Goodbye Is Knowing When It's Time To wont take any of the hurt away, and it's not supposed to. that feeling of hurt and grief you feel will be there when you see something and snap a photo and it's profound and powerful and a part of your friend will be in that photo. when you have a conversation with someone and you feel some new intimate emotion and an insight into something new, a part of your friend will be in that conversation. so altho it looks dark and bleek and gloomy now, and it might look that way forever and a day, somehow it will work itself out.

  • May Kintanar-Afenir

    May Kintanar-Afenir said (22 May 2009):

    What a lovely tribute for your best friend. Wishing you all the peace and comfort in your time of sorrow.

  • Joy B

    Joy B gave props (15 Jun 2009):

    i am so sorry. i am sure she would be honored by this beautiful tribute.

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