Photo Essay

Life Transgendered

Sometimes I Can't (Even) Breathe

I am an androgynous/transgender person. This means that I associate with the gender that is the opposite or different from my biological sex, and that I often think of myself as genderless. I have felt this way for more years than I was fully aware, and I am only now really coming to terms with it.

I have always been a different sort of person, but it wasnt until I was about sixteen or seventeen that I realized that I didnt not identify with my biological gender. I began to dress in a manner not connotative to either gender, and I started to act a little bit more like my opposite gender. People accepted that, and so it was okay. But I am afraid that if I tell them that I am not just a person who acts a bit like the opposite gender, but that I am transgender, that they will not accept that.

No one knows exactly what causes gender dysphoria (the medical term for being transgender), but I know that it doesnt matter exactly what causes it. What matters is that people like me feel safe and accepted in society, and I hope we can work toward that. I hope that some day in the near future I can reveal myself and feel safe about it. I hope that I can transition fully into the life that I want to live.

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12 responses

  • Anthony Cronin

    Anthony Cronin (Deleted) said (6 Jun 2009):

    This is the first ever series of pictures I have seen that capture the limbo and inner sorrow that effects lots of the TS/TG community. I have friends from this community and your work expresses so well many of their inner battles.
    This is a beautiful and striking piece of work

  • Anthony Cronin

    Anthony Cronin (Deleted) gave props (6 Jun 2009):

    poetic and sensitive

  • Megan Green

    Megan Green said (6 Jun 2009):

    Gorgeous images, heavy with emotion. Great work, and it takes a hell of a lot of courage to not only document your own struggle gender dysphoria, but to put it out there for all to see. My vote.

  • Laura Pelkey

    Laura Pelkey gave props (8 Jun 2009):

    Thank you so much for sharing this. I know that it couldn't have been easy but it helps to increase people's awareness and understanding of the transgendered community. Again, thank you.

  • Michael Risenhoover

    Michael Risenhoover (Deleted) gave props (12 Jun 2009):

    Excellent work, and my vote!

  • Jan Hoffman

    Jan Hoffman gave props (21 Jun 2009):

    Softly said and beautifully seen; well done

  • Freddy Sarabia

    Freddy Sarabia gave props (11 Aug 2010):


  • Bianca Stewart

    Bianca Stewart (Deleted) gave props (15 Nov 2010):

    Lex, I applaud and admire your courage. Your story is beautiful and poignant. Thank you for sharing.

  • Marco Martinez

    Marco Martinez gave props (22 Feb 2011):

    Powerful narrative. Stories like yours are meant to be shared, understood. I, too, admire what you have done.

  • joselionel

    joselionel said (21 Sep 2018):

    Lex, lo que importa es que tu te sientas bien contigo mismo, la sociedad y tu entorno siempre encontrara pero para todo. Me gusta tu ensayo fotográfico, y tu reseña ortográfica al respecto.

  • joselionel

    joselionel said (22 Sep 2018):

    Felicidades, Lex bien merecido este reconocimiento a tu trabajo.

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