1 Apr 2012
You showed up without an invitation. Crashing the party of my life. For 25 years you have tried to bring me down, but family and friends have always lifted me up. You have tried to make me stop living but I am still alive. I hike and walk and cycle bringing you along kicking and screaming. You must hate it that I just don't lie down and die.
I'm not sorry. You just picked the wrong person. You should learn from me to pick an easier target next time. You are just a small part of me that tomorrow they will cut out. You had your chance. Don't feel too bad leaving, you put up a good fight. You even won some battles along the way but tomorrow I win the war. The small part of me that you were won't be missed. When I take my first walk, ride my bike again or pick up my camera, I won't remember you. I will laugh and play again without you. Tomorrow my life starts anew. Born again without pain. Stronger and lighter without the burden you have made me carry. You could have stayed if you were willing to stay where you were hiding behind the pain medication, but when you decided to move into my head, all bets were off. You're out and it's over. I'm moving on. Leave without speaking, you've said enough. Leave without theatrics, I need no more drama. Leave me in peace, Let me sleep again without interruption. Let me live without feeling your pull. Let me dream of a pain free life where you are no longer the focus. Let me control the focus. Let me control the depth of my fields and Let me move you into the blurred bokeh where you no longer matter. Jeff