11 Jan 2014
It was a Thursday, and a cold, gloomy one at that. The sun was trying to shine through, I knew it was my mother. She fought for 6 years, trying to beat cancer, but it had won. On September 11th, 2013 my mom was finally sent to be with the Lord in Heaven. It happened so fast, 2 month prior she was doing good, then it just hit her. We all felt like a train hit us, what do we do without our mom, wife or daughter. After a number of holidays following her death, by January we were mentally numb. Crying at every holiday party, wishing we could see her again. But the most important holiday was coming up, on January 9th. Her birthday. Despite her being gone physically, we knew she was very much alive spiritually. We all came together, as a family, how she wanted it, and celebrated her life. She may not be here but her soul lives on. The smiles came easy that day, with some tears but it felt bittersweet.
Let me explain our chaotic family first, we have a blended family, with lots of kids. My mom tried so hard gathering everyone together at once, it wasn't easy. There is me and my twin, Christopher, (in the tan pants) our little 8 year old half sister, Lily. We have 2 other step siblings who could not make it. Then my boyfriend, who was my mom's 2nd son. (And future son in law).
We all gathered at Lily's school, for my step dad, Jim, had this fabulous idea. We proceeded to write notes to our mom, on index cards and tied them to balloons; sending our love up to mom on her birthday. After we finished tying all the cards to the balloons, Lily's pastor and principal said a prayer for us. Then on the count of 3 we let them go. Floating in the wind, so helplessly up in the sky. We watched them go, till we couldn't anymore. There were smiles, tears and hugs as we watched this touching event. How far will they go? Can anyone else see them? We all were so curious.
It was such a bittersweet moment.
She has brought us all together, closer than ever.
That night, while I was watching a movie on my PS3, the controller was sitting on the bed, completely untouched. Then the movie started fast forwarding. I look at the controller, as the movie was changing scenes and it just sat there. I knew my mom had gotten the balloons, for this was a sign. It's those little moments like these, that I know she's still here with us.