Performing for the Camera
By andrew bovasso
6 December 2007
Heart of This Home is a project that I have been working with since the summer of 2007. I got the inspiration for the project when I had a power outage in my house that lasted longer than an outage normally would. The place was completely falling apart and my mother was in a very delicate position about things. This is the only home I have ever known and I watched it deteriorate- roof leaks everywhere, basement window caved in. I chose to photograph what I thought would be "1653 Kennedy Blvd; Night and Day" and depict the house as it was with no light, because I felt in the dark about most things revolving inside that house--relationships and family life included. During the day I would photograph the details of the house.
Given the long exposures, I started to jump into my photos and perform for the camera. I wanted to start to communicate with the ghost images, that I felt like this house trapped my in more than one way. That is when I began to formulate "Heart of This Home." I wanted to photograph the story in me that would stick with the house's energy long after I was gone. In the back of my head during shoots, I would always try to stick to the sort of mindset of images revealing a self discovery, or a search. I did not know what I was searching for, but I had the suspicion that this sort of theme would help keep the ability for a narrative more open to a wide variety of options.
Given the performance aspect of my photographs, in seeing them now, I find it almost impossible to tear myself away from the memory of what I was doing during the photographs and think objectively when viewing them. Whether I was photographing the exterior of the house with me glaring out the window, or walking though a sand path sweeping away my footsteps, the action that may or may not have been captured will still be visible to me photographically.
What I found very intriguing about this particular project of mine was that each photograph became a mystery. I am not the type of photographer that snaps many shots when shooting. I wait for the importance factor. When I feel something is important enough in my mind, I photograph it, and once. But with performing for the camera, it became even more chance than previous work I'd done. Shooting with a 4x5, and using film, no Polaroid back for 4x5 Polaroids, I had no way of telling if the photographs I had taken actually contained me in them. It became more fun to have a photograph that you cannot see me in, because only I know I was there, walking, sitting, being.
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