Meet Benjamin....
By J Mac
2 June 2008
This is a story about a boy named Benjamin or aka boo-boo bear. He is my gentle,kind and sweet natured little spirit ! I knew the moment he was placed in my arms that he was different, he was a special gift.He is sensitive to noise,and to light. He has always been difficult to sooth,he had feeding problems,colic,and weezing,he couldn't sleep unless he was sleeping in my bed. I did my best to help him learn to sooth himself,and it felt awlful to me and to him,my palms would sweat and my cat would attack my ankles as if to say,go in there and pick up your baby! Time went on he grew and he explored his world I had to teach him how to keep himself together when walking in to family functions, and birthday parties were a nighmare,He is my first child and I had no baseline to what was normal,I did think foolishly that when he was wet he would cry then I would change him,when he was hungry the same I feed him, but I was naive and he didn't let me know when he was wet and a feeding schedule,or any schedule was no where in sight,All of what I "thought" to be true was not! With Ben things were just different,I have had to teach him how to make friends,play with his toys,use the potty,and I am still teaching him certain things,that should come rather naturally. He has such worries for a young child, fires,storms,germs,and me getting old or sick its so sad he is going to be six on June 7th and he already has the worries and anxiety of an adult.These are the years in his life where nothing should matter but playing with your friends or toys,we all long to be back there,.I feel sometimes that he is missing a real childhood .Some days I feel blessed that I was given this child,and others I break down and cry because I feel I am not strong enough,or smart enough to do whats neccessay to give him the head start that he needs to get ahead in this world. For the past six years I knew I wasn't crazy and that he was different.I just hope I am able to help him navigate through this world without losing to much of himself just to fit in socially! I wrote this little piece on Ben to share with Vidyavati,Thank you for seeing him,for who he is just from a photograph,you are a special human being! Bless you!
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