1: Reassignment

Submitted to Creepy Last Hot on 7 Apr 2009 in Creepy
Uploaded 10 Dec 2007 — 17 favorites
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© Jason Schupp
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Photo license: © All rights reserved

"I presume you are aware that they broke into the mansion on Saturday," she said, flipping through a manila folder on her desk.

"No," I said. "We have a mansion?"

Christi looked up from her desk. "Yes, we... Jesus. Alright. You must not have been briefed, since you've been spending so much time on Project Everywhere. Sit down."

"How is it," I asked while pulling up an Aeron (which Todd must have "borrowed" from one of the conference rooms the last time he was in here), "that I've been assigned to JPG since January and am completely unaware of any mansion, while you, the newest on the team, are so in the know?" She glared at me, so I added, "I didn't mean to suggest you weren't fit-"

"It's alright," she interrupted, though her expression relaxed. "If you're asking about clearances, you'll have to take it up with the Pool Man."

That's the worst part, the code names. They're so ridiculous: "The Pool Man," "Bruno," "Mr. D." I tend to eschew such nonsense, but "Jaschu" tends to stick around the offices, regardless.

I asked, "So what happened, that you had to call me in here? I've got a bunch of usability issues to work out this week."

"No, you don't." She closed the file and stretched to hand it to me. "You're being reassigned. In fact, first thing you need to do when you leave here is report to Section L."

My head jerked up. "Section L?! You're sending me to the Dentist. You gotta be fuckin' me."

Christi shook her head. "It's no big deal. They're going to stick an RFID chip in one of your teeth. Strictly a security measure while we figure out what happened at the mansion. We're locking it down. The chip will identify you and grant you access."

I couldn't help but sigh. Augmentation was always a possibility when you take this job. My most recent partner, D-Haze (see what I mean about code names?), got a parallel processor installed all up in his brainpan, and now he can think out MySQL queries almost as fast as our servers. Me, I considered myself lucky to still be 100% flesh and bone. Up until now, at least.

"So fill me in already."

Christi nodded. "They threw a party. We didn't know about it until after the fact. They called it the JPGers Ball and it was all done behind our backs."

I arched an eyebrow at her. "I'm getting a chip in my head because of a shindig? Besides, don't we wantthem to do stuff like this? Sounds pretty flattering that they'd do such a thing, get all excited about what we're trying to do here. I don't see what the big deal is."

"No, you're absolutely right. In fact, if they had just asked, they could use the mansion any time they want. That's not the issue."

"Then what is?"

"We have reason to believe that there was a theft that night. You're to go and investigate. Shouldn't take more than a day out of your schedule."

So now I got a chip in a tooth. The things you do for art.


15 responses

  • Paul Lavallee

    Paul Lavallee gave props (10 Dec 2007):

    oh no, must warn the others...

  • Laura Brunow Miner

    Laura Brunow Miner gave props (10 Dec 2007):

    This is brilliant.

  • Nicole Gesmondi

    Nicole Gesmondi gave props (10 Dec 2007):

    Props for linking to MY photo! Your invitation must have gotten "lost" in the mail. We'll add it for next year!

  • Rachel Mckinnie

    Rachel Mckinnie gave props (10 Dec 2007):

    Damn it...how?

  • Lis Bokt

    Lis Bokt gave props (10 Dec 2007):

    I had no idea working at JPG was so risky! :)

  • Charles Rushton

    Charles Rushton said (10 Dec 2007):

    They told me it was a door prize and that it had been cleared with the JPG brass. But I'll give it back. . . if I have to. . . at least the part I haven't eaten.

  • Trey Hill

    Trey Hill (Deleted) gave props (10 Dec 2007):

    this is beyond brilliant.

  • Telstar Logistics

    Telstar Logistics said (11 Dec 2007):

    Sheesh. What does a brother have to do to get a nickname around here?? And I'm totally off the Aeron. Poser chair.

  • d kelly

    d kelly gave props (11 Dec 2007):

    geeze !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Nicole Gesmondi

    Nicole Gesmondi gave props (11 Dec 2007):

    JPG Magazine should showcase pictures of the ball in the next issue!

  • Jodie Andrefski

    Jodie Andrefski gave props (11 Dec 2007):

    I had NOTHING to do with it, I swear! Yup! I totally.....errrrr.....swear!

  • Sean-Michael Gettys

    Sean-Michael Gettys gave props (16 Dec 2007):

    love the picture and the story!

  • Merrick Kingston

    Merrick Kingston gave props (8 Jan 2008):


  • John Linton

    John Linton gave props (22 Jul 2008):

    Dude, cool post.

  • Melissa

    Melissa (Deleted) gave props (7 Oct 2008):

    *shiver* I hate the dentist!

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